Tml is the day already.. Im really confused.. what should i do next ? wat to do ? I really have no idea.. Im just getting myself prepared for the worst that's all.. i just really hope u will say out your true feelings that's all.. as i've said im prepared for it....


feeling: confused & heartbeat fast

Super happy today.. u know? i saw u wearing what i gave u for ur birthday last year... Hmm... its abit big.. (sorry for the wrong measurements..hehe..) i thought u would have already thrown it somewhere at the corner of ur house.. but surprisingly u still wearing it..



thanks alot.. it makes me feel so much appreciated.. cos i made it just for you... customised u know.. hopefully it doesn't break so easily.. if it ever does hope i can do up another new ones for u again.. thanks for making my day a wonderful one... Im already so so happy and contented ..

Baka me... i tot we could leave the office together & walk to the bus stop... at least there's u to pei me walk through that place... end up i went back myself... can't u think that im a girl & its so dark.. maybe im thinking too much.. its only 9plus... & u might think that im big enuff to go back myself... wat would u do if its another girl?

i've read some of ur testi saying u r a gentlemen to walk with the girl to the place during nite... y i don't have.? u only say bye & see you tomorrow & left me alone going home.. probably i can't think that u will walk with me through that dark place... so i won't be so sad after leaving ....

Y do u say i want to save money.. I just want to send into your mailbox personally wat.. taking bus to your house is more ex ok... still have to walk lor.. hmm.. but im already very very happy that u received my card cos i thought it won't get to u (cos i mailed to your neighbour's mailbox)..

Still you get the card... s0 kind of your neighbours... i was wondering to myself whether you will receive it anot.. cos that day i was quite worried whether to put it at your house door steps or just put it in your neighbour's box... end up i mailed it cos your house's door open so i don't dare to just drop it there... hehe...


Good la.. at least my wishes got to you... I really sincerely wish u have a good future.. and prob a good gf/ wife (cos i know you already don't have any feelings for me.. its understandable cos im a terrible person to be with... its just me yi xiang qing yuang only)... i don't know la.. but somehow wat i mentioned about the "new beginning" is the r/s you having now (from wat you've typed in your blog.. u were fan over some bGr thingy i guess)....


Wat more can i ask now rite.. im considered very lucky to work with you every weekends already.... Im more than happy..... at least now im eager to look forward to Sundays... just looking at you i will be contented enough le... and some more its 10 times .. Im not some physco(dunno how to write).. its just that the missing you thingy going on for the past few months.. and now i could work with you every week... I so so happy... hard to describe/ typing here... a feeling that even words can't describe cos its real feelings...


Although everytime i look normal and talks to you like very normal.. but im really happy... Really very happy... wat's more today you thanked me for the card... double smiley face.. hehe...


( i just wish i could hug u.. its the most comforting huai bao i ever had..)

So many things bottled up inside me.. but i've to act so "like so steady" in front of everybody... I just realized that you are the only one whom has seen me cried be4 (r/s or personal prob)... with u i just feel at ease and comfortable.. like you know when u hug the person and u feel so at ease, and to me it means that i can really count on him.. Up till now i haven done that to anybody...

why has it got to be you? you don't even bothered about me now.. I just feel that you care more for other gers, towards me its just different...lesser / even lesser... its irritating.. why has it got to be you.. Why can't i even have a little more concern from you? i will be contented even if you just asking me how am i or wat.. simple little concern...

All i could do is to console myself and cry alone sometimes...

I know its kinda lame to u tt i sent u the card.. I also not sure why i did that.. Just wanted to send my regards to your family & congrats u for your fyp (although abit late.. cos i was vexing whether to send you or not)... maybe u can call me stupid or wat..


I hope that the card gets to u cos i put it in the wrong mailbox.. Your mailbox "mouth" can't be opened... I've already tried my best to open it but can't... So i mailed it to your neighbours box, hopefully he/she will kindly hand it to u.. Praying hard** It all depends on fate... if it really doesn't get to u den i think its god's will..


I was quite shocked that u called me just now.. I heard the ringtone but don't know to pick up or not..I was scared that you scold me cos i send you the card (like tt time i bot you the beancurd but end up being scolded by u... say i crazy.. heart broken man)... so i choose to msg ... thanks for the job reco.. i really need a part time job desperately.. Yea came to think of it, u can't be receiving the card so fast rite.. Baka me..

the feeling of wanting to see the person but can't due to some reasons..

the feeling of missing someone but have to stop thinking....

the feeling of wanting to feel u but not possible anymore...

Are u in love with another ger?? I guess so.. the few entries in your blog tells that u r vexed over some Boy-ger stuff...If its true, i don't know what to say alr... Probably i will just wish u n the ger happily together.. cos i can't do much too.. Im not the one u love anymore & u've long given up hopes on...

I've disappoint u that time alr.. n will never have another 2nd chance again... cos i've hurt u so badly... I guess now u r alrite already.. cos u r vexing over a new bg stuff.. I still rem what u've told me last year ard MOS while we crossing the road... I don't know u rem anot.. u said that wait till u finished ur studies den talk again.. but i dun think we need to now.. cos u've found a new one alr.. i just hope u r happy with her...

I don't know what i am up to recently too... Guess i have noone to talk to regard to this problem... nVm about my problem.. Just hope u r fine and happy tt's all i ask for...

pls tell me tt u don't love me anymore ... I need to hear it personally from u...

**我只能往回忆来ma zui 自己**